One more Chance

5/5

Exactly two weeks after I have announced to the whole world that I am going to watch this movie, I, together with my best friends Korina and Joanne headed for the world famous SM Mall of Asia to finally see what everyone is raving about this latest Star Cinema offering.

As expected of a John Lloyd-Bea movie, the cinema was 60-70% full not bad for a second screening at 1pm. I was so excited while waiting for the movie to start. Extensive promotion days before the premiere made me imbibe the lines of both the main characters, lines that in a week time became a fad even before the movie hit the theaters. I can’t wait to see the entire scene behind those lines.

There were never second thoughts in my mind whether I’m going to watch this movie or not. The first time I saw its trailer, I shouted out loud that I’m going to watch this movie. I have high expectations from this movie because they say that this is the best flick the love team has ever or will ever be doing. I’m glad to say that I am not disappointed when I got out of the cinema. First 5mins. of the movie already gave me the impression that indeed this movie is really different from other John Lloyd-Bea films. And as a matter of fact, the movie proved to be very different from other millions of romance movies I have ever seen.

From You Got Me, You Are The One and now, One More Chance, Director Cathy Garcia-Molina has never ran out of romantic scenes. She has never recycled a single kilig moment unlike other directors of that genre. What’s nice about this movie is its depth. For a second you might think that the story is shallow thus making it jologs. But this movie proved to be more than that.

The over all feel of the movie is painful. From the very start, you can already feel how Basha (Bea’s character) is hurting with how controlling Popoy (John Lloyd) is. But the downpour of emotions in the movie came when the lead characters broke up. Amidst the pain both characters are experiencing, it is a work of a genius with how the director was able to balance the natural drama of the movie with kilig moments that will surely make your heart jump off.

It’s great how this movie was able to show that/how true love can be very hurting and at the same time, be very captivating that no amount of pain can ever erase your feelings for that person you truly love and yet has hurt you the most.

This movie is very different from all the romance flicks I have seen because it didn’t use any cheesy line whatsoever in expressing the lead character’s feelings. The script writer used words that we normally use everyday; words that are plain, simple and direct to the point without any exaggerations at all that’s why it’s closer to the audience. I believe this is also the reason why the story of One More Chance is what we call in Tagalog, ‘tagos sa puso, damang-dama mo’.

This movie saw the maturity on both John Lloyd and Bea as actors. While watching it I can’t help but tell myself that this is like watching a younger Christopher De Leon and Vilma Santos. John Lloyd gave a superb performance in this film. Truly, he is one of the best actors the Philippines will ever produce. Two thumbs up to both of them.

As I always say, in our generation right now, Star Cinema is the best when it comes to film producing and they never fail. Congratulations to everybody who’s a part of One More Chance. It’s close to perfect.

The moment I got out of the cinema, I immediately told Joanne and Korina that this is THE MOVIE OF THE YEAR! Forget that 2007 ever happened if you’re gonna miss this movie.


PS: John Lloyd makes me weak. He’s so gwapo!

My first JOY list

JOY, as defined by my computer’s Encarta Dictionary is something that brings happiness: a pleasurable aspect of something, or something that is seen as a source of happiness.

Right now, I am very very busy and I have the most demanding schedule I’ll probably be having in my entire college life. There are times that I just really wanna cry to release all the pressure and stress that I’m going through. At times like this, I learned that it’s best to cling to the things that bring us happiness. For it is through these things that we could draw the strength to carry on. At this point in my life, I wanted to remind myself of all the things that brings joy to my heart and helps me relax after a hard day. Big or small, I believe that we should celebrate joy wherever, whenever, or to whoever we find it. I must agree with Kris Aquino that “focusing on what elicits joy rather than what causes sorrow really makes life so much more pleasant.”

Now, I want to share some of the things that make me happy at this point in time. Also, I want to encourage all my friends to have their own “Joy List” for it’s so much fun writing it. It will make you realize how mababaw a person you are and how blessed you are.

1. New issues of K Mag! It thrills me a lot the moment I hear that a new issue of K Mag will be out soon. And the moment I see one in a magazine stand makes my heart want to jump. I love Kris Aquino so much and it delights me to death that she has her own magazine now. No, I am not yet obsessed. It’s just that, Kris has always been my idol. Even before I became one of Regine Velasquez’s most avid, I’m a Kris Aquino fan first. If my memory serves me right, I became her fan when I was in grade 3 and since then, I have followed her career. Knowing that she has her own magazine now where she can share more of her thoughts is just so wonderful.

I got myself a copy of K Mag’s latest issue last Sunday (third day from its release). I make it a point to buy the magazine’s latest issue on the first day of its release but if I don’t have time that day, I always grab a copy as soon as I can.

2. Seeing the rain. Ironic as it may seem but I love it when it’s raining. I know studies show that rainy season causes a lot of people to get lonely making it the time when depression rate increases. But it puts a smile in my face. It feels so great that once in a while, we get a break from the really hot climate in this tropical country and experience a cold temperature. And come on?! Isn’t it great to wear and parade your jackets? Hehe. It also when it rains that I reminisce memories, both good and bad ones. And it just feels so great to go back and remember old times. Or maybe I’m just really weird…

3. Reading John Lapus’ blog. He is one of my favorite local celebrities ever. I admire his confidence and his ability to ignore his critics’ opinion. I love his “if you don’t like me, I don’t like you either” aura. Perhaps, life in this world will be more pleasurable if we will just ignore what other people are thinking about us. I read John’s blog every time he has a new entry. He updates his blog once a week. He writes it in taglish cause according to him, he’s not good in English. But mind you, he writes really well and you’ll see how a deep person he is. His blog is so refreshing! It really takes away my stresses. Haha!

4. Listening to “Pare Ko” and “Hotel California” before sleeping. Moralists won’t be happy upon reading this but I’m so sorry, they’re my lullaby. I love this two songs so much. I listen to “Pare Ko” when I am so stressed and I just wanna shout “putang ina” to all the people or things that causes my stress or my pains. I prefer Sponge Cola’s version of the song from the Ultramagnetic album. For one, I love Yael and his husky voice. And I’m so thankful that the band’s version retained the foul words unlike the other versions of the song which tamed it down a little bit. On the other hand, I listen to “Hotel California” when I want to feel relaxed, when I want to just float in the clouds and rest. The song is so hypnotizing for me.

5. Seeing my potato chips! Yes, I love potato chips and I don’t care if they’re junk. I buy my own potato chips cause my mom won’t buy me. I know that they’re bad for my kidneys but what can I do? I love salty foods and potato chips are delicious. Come on, give me a break! I don’t eat chocolates because I’m allergic to it so potato chips nalang. My chichiryas are all in my bedroom, beside the entertainment cabinet. It gives me joy to see them there when I get home from a very stressful school day.

6. Buying new books. Next to my computer, books are my best friend. I love bookstores so much! My trip to malls won’t be complete without a visit to Powerbooks or National Bookstore. Now, I have a new home when I’m waiting for my mom and my sister to finish their long hours of mall strolling, Bestsellers at Robinsons Galleria. That bookstore is so serene and all the books are arranged properly. Not to mention, they’ve got a really big area so almost all the books available here in the country are all there. The likelihood of unavailability is very thin. Not of course if the book is out of stock everywhere. Anyway, it’s not a secret to everyone that I love reading and I worship books. At times when I feel so sad and tired, I buy a book and it totally elates my heart. The last book I bought was Mitch Albom’s newest paperback, “For One More Day”. My mom paid for it and told me it’s her advance birthday gift to me. Right now, I’m saving for the coming bookstore sale this August and September. The titles I’m going to buy are: “The Devil and Miss Prym”, “Like Flowing River”, “The Witch of Portobello” all by my favorite, Paolo Coelho. Other titles I’m saving for are: “The Book of Laughter and Forgetting” by Milan Kundera, “The Death of an Ordinary Man” by Glen Duncan, “Written on the Body” by Jeanette Winterson, and “The Baker’s Apprentice” by Judith Ryan Hendricks.

BTW, my birthday is coming so some of you might want to give me one of those books as your birthday gift. Just tell me you’re giving me that title so I won’t buy it na. Hehe!

7. Enjoying a Bubble Tea. We (meaning my mom, my sister and I) are so addicted to these teas that came all the way from Japan. The Bubble Tea is a Japanese franchised restaurant that recently opened at SM Megamall. They’re menu are mostly beverages (hot and cold) but they also offer some sandwiches, pasta and rice bowls. With the name itself, you would know that the restaurant’s specialty is in teas. They’re teas come in varieties of milk teas, milk shakes, ice tea based, fresh brewed black teas, tea slush, and hot teas. What make these teas extra scrumptious are the bubbles or black sagos (similar to the sagos they put in the Zagu Pearl Shakes before) that they put on it. They’re all great but I must say that my top favorites are the Coffee Milk Shake, Taro Milk Tea, and nothing will beat the Black Sesame Milkshake for me. We enjoy these bubble teas every Sunday after attending our church’s service. What a perfect way of completing our weekends. (As of now, they only have two branches, the one at Megamall and the one at The Block)

8. Catching Oprah on TV! These days, I don’t get the chance to watch The Oprah Winfrey show as often as I want to because of my very inconsiderate class schedules. I hope Star World will be more considerate for people like me. Why not a primetime replays at 11 or 12am or perhaps a weekend marathon during midnights if they can’t accommodate it during primetime? I love talk shows so much. Today, I’m so glad to wake up with The Ellen DeGeneres show at ETC 2^nd Avenue with Christina Aguilera as her guest. It really relaxes me every time I watch talk shows and it is my dream to have my own in the future. I really feel that I was born to talk and interview people. Other talk shows that I watch are Private Conversations with Boy Abunda, Boy and Kris, Korina Today, Larry King Live, Tonight with Jay Leno, The May Lee Show, etc.

9. Coming to school early for my first class. It rarely happens so I’m glad if I’m able to wake up early, there’s no line in the fx terminal, and the mrt and lrt are not prima donnas that day.

10. Seeing Kris Aquino back on TV. It feels so great that she’s back on TV after her three months of maternity leave. I just admire this girl so much that even though I don’t like Deal or No Deal, I watch it because of her. For me, Kris is the host to beat! I want to be like Kris, I want to talk like her, dress like her, and be as influential as she is. I have high respects for this lady because of her unbelievable talent (in hosting), her intelligence, and being the controversial A-list celebrity that she is. I’m also very excited about her new show in ABS-CBN that will start running on August entitled “Weekends with Kris” every Saturday at 5pm.

11. Daily Lunch with Korina. We’ve been doing this for 2 years now and it feels so great to talk and share anything, everything under the sun with your best friend while having a sumptuous lunch at are favorite canteens/restaurants.

12. Being able to watch 2-3 episodes of Desperate Housewives. I am currently watching the series’ season 3 and it’s so much more addicting than the past two seasons. I missed Wisteria Lane so much and I’m just so glad that I have the complete third season DVD already. After Desperate Housewives, I’ll be watching Grey’s Anatomy Season 3, Ugly Betty, then go back to Sex and The City. I’m also gonna watch Brothers and Sisters, Dirt, and Heroes soon.

13. Burning my downloaded songs and videos on CD. It delights me the most when my burner does not hang up when I’m burning those.

14. Sleeping early during Fridays and Saturdays. Ever since this term started and I had to deal with this class schedule, my Friday and Saturday nights are spent sleeping. It’s an advantage for me cause I get to sleep early. I’m really not a morning person so it feels great that during weekend mornings, I get to feel how it is to eat a “matinong” breakfast and accomplish things early in the morning.

15. John Paul Abellera read my review. He’s the scriptwriter of “Paano Kita Iibigin”, the latest movie of Regine Velasquez and Piolo Pascual. It made me very very happy when he was able to read my review of the movie in my livejournal. He also left a thank you comment that flattered me big time. It’s the scriptwriter himself! I’m so glad!!!

Magnetism...

I saw you walking down the stairs rushing...
wearing a white fitted sando that perfectly complements your well toned body.
You were wiping the sweat in your forehead as I carefully observe your adorable skin that's undeniably a frequent companion of the sun.

Our eyes met at a glance.
We ignored each other...
yet, there's this magnetism; a sort of indescribable force that's pulling me towards you.
An attraction I can't resist.

With one look, I was so hooked.
I can't contain my sanity as I continue to head upstairs.
I wanted to go back and run after you...
I wanted to be intimate with you...
I wanted you to own me right at that very moment.

But I risked it and went up...

as the minutes pass,
now,
I know what I really want


...rush down to find where you are.


I know you were there...
inside that huge truck...
I can go inside and follow you but I held back...

cause I know that in the law of magnetism, the same poles will never attract.

maybe that was it...
our sweet encounter...
and reality made a grand entrance...

I know our paths will never cross again.

A CHOICE: I am not changing my mind

It has been a month or so since I made the announcement that I’m finally giving up the idea that I’m going to meet my special someone in the cyber world. Though there were a lot of temptations to just break that promise, I’m glad that up to know, I stayed true to my word and I owned up to my decision. Wow! I’m so proud of myself.

I won’t deny the fact that there were a lot of times I just wanna break that promise of mine and just go back to my old way of meeting guys. Anyway, who ever imposed that rule to me not to chat with cute guys and meet up with them in person after a few days? It was I, so if ever, it is also my prerogative to just consider that decision null and void. With the fear of being single for life, I was tempted many many times. After all, these guys who are messaging and txting me were good-looking, nice and some of them were really a catch. But I told myself, if you’re going to go back to that same old pattern, you’ll just end up going through all the bad things you’ve went through in the past. So after much reflection about it, NO! I don’t wanna experience all those awful things again and again and again.

God allows us to experience failures, pain and suffering for us to learn and emerge as a better person. I don’t want to die unhappy more so, I don’t want to die as a person who’s full of regrets. And as I grow and mature, I can say that I am more intimate now with my body, my heart and my soul. This year as I turn twenty years old (two months from now), I am more confident to say that I know myself better than anybody in this world does. So I know what will make me happy and what will make me sad. I know what is good for me and what is bad for me. Looking back on all my experiences with the guys I have met in the internet, what kind of individuals they are, what terrible things happened to us, I can firmly say that I am not happy with all of it and I don’t feel like I’m ever going to be proud of it/them. And so I don’t want to grow old having all these regrets in my life. I know that we can’t change our past but we can shape our futures. Having the ability to do so, I will not go back to my same old pattern again. I’ve learned my lessons very well!

A friend of mine told me that I shouldn’t give up on the cyber world for no matter how superficial it is, it’s still is one of the major means for gays like me to meet guys especially in the kind of society where we are. But I beg to disagree with him. Yes, internet maybe a major way. Yes, we can’t deny that with the emergence of technology through the internet, gays and bisexuals have found a new way to meet other individuals who has the same sexual preference as they are but I want to stress that the cyber world is NOT THE ONLY MAJOR MEANS. And since this method doesn’t seem to make me happy, I will not use it. I am totally eliminating this method on how I can have a boyfriend. No one can change my mind. Jammy (one of my close friends) once told me “wala ka namang makukuhang matinong lalaki dyan eh”, referring to guys from the internet. I’d like to believe her for in the many occasions that I got myself involved with these guys, nothing good has ever happened to me, it didn’t in anyway benefited me. Why? I’ve come to realize that maybe because with the superficiality of the cyber world everything happens in a snap. And since everything happens too fast, you fall so fast, what you have also disappears so fast. Not to mention, most people you’ll find in the internet are in for fun. Maybe that’s the problem because I’m in for a real thing. Or perhaps, these men are also in for a real thing but with the superficial environment of the cyber world, A REAL THING is just not possible.

We only walk through our lives once. We only have one youth and most of the turning points in our lives happen while we are at this stage of our lives so we better be careful on the CHOICES we are making and we better live our teenage/young adult years right so that when we grow old, we won’t regret anything. Yes, we’re only young once so we better enjoy it but we should enjoy life in such a way that we would still have dignity and self-respect after enjoying it. Maybe a lot of gays will choose to enjoy their lives by collecting men whom they have slept with, but not me. Not Dave! They can have sex with all the men they want for all I care but I won’t do that because when I grow old I want people to think of me as a decent person and not a slut!

So I won’t change my mind no matter how cute, how I really like the guy and how yummy he is. I’M NOT CHANGING MY MIND!

Life is full of choices. And the choices we make determine who we are as a person. This is a CHOICE I’ve made and whatever consequences I will be having because of this CHOICE, I’m ready for it.

Paano Kita Iibigin

5/5

Fans of songbird Regine Velasquez and heartthrob Piolo Pascual had been waiting for this movie for two years now. And as an avid Regine Velasquez fan, my anticipation for this movie was unexplainable. That’s why days before its first day of theatrical showing, I promised myself that I’m going to watch it on its first day, rain or shine!

May 30, after my first class, I rushed to Glorietta 4 to catch the first screening at 12:50 pm. I was not expecting that crowd thinking that it was the first screening and people might be at work since it’s Wednesday, 12:50 pm. But I was wrong because at the time I bought my ticket and made my way inside the movie house, there were a lot of people occupying the seats already and by the time the movie started, the first three rows from the screen were the only one’s not occupied. There were even some that chose to just stand up to be able to get a better view.

After watching the movie, I dare say YOU’LL MISS HALF OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU WON’T WATCH THIS MOVIE!!! And I mean that!

I’ll give you FIVE reasons why you should go and see this movie:

1. It is very rare that we find a local movie that has depth and so much SUBSTANCE in it. This movie if I may say so is oozing with substance. And it’s very, very different in such a way that it gave a typical Filipino romance flick a different perspective. It’s not your ordinary kilig-kilig, pa-cute Tagalog romance, it’s so good! Everything in the movie is FRESH!!! I didn’t notice any cliché at all. The movie in general is very realistic. The acting of everyone in the film was perfect. A totally different Piolo and Regine are in this movie.

2. I have to commend the writers for a well-written story. I love the fact that they did not relied on fantasy and just offered a love story that has so much out of this world element. John Paul Abellera, the script writer, made a job well done in this movie. There was never a “trying-hard” line. Every dialogue was perfect. I really noticed that they made it a point that every dialogue in the script fits the characters, the scenes, the emotion of that particular act and the over all tone of the movie. One thing I also admire about the script was that they did not use cliché, over-acting lines. Especially when the main characters were professing their love for each other, the words they used were carefully chosen and were not baduy!

3. I have seen all of Regine Velasquez’s movie and indeed, I can say that this movie is her best to date. This movie brought out the actress in her. Here, she proved that she’s not only the best singer in Asia, she also established that she’s one of the excellent actresses we have here in the Philippines. Regine Velasquez deserves a Best Actress trophy for this movie. Not only was she admirable in this film but also stunning and exceptional. Regine Velasquez was really great in this movie. Two thumbs up, Songbird!

4. What can I say about Piolo Pascual??? He’s fantastic in this movie. He doesn’t need to speak just by his facial expressions you’ll know what his character’s emotion is. I particularly love the scene where he’s inside the mini airplane and was just crying. I BOW DOWN TO YOU PIOLO!!! You’re the man! And of course, he’s so yummy!!! Gosh!!! I’m so speechless. I’m drooling the entire time I was inside the movie house.

5. This masterpiece was directed by Direk Joyce Bernal and she deserves a standing ovation for this film. It’s like she never runs out of bright ideas for a romance movie. She’s one of the best directors we have and I really love her. There was never a dragginf scene in this movie. Every shot was just perfect and rightfully done. One thing I love about Direk Joyce is that she knows what she wants and if it’s a romance movie by her, expect it, it’s DAMN SO FABULOUS! I admire how she directs love scenes. Very, very good!!! For this particular movie, the love scene and kissing scenes were sensual and very passionate but still it appeared extremely wholesome.

For a person like me who has watched a hundred romance movies, I say this is one of the best I have ever seen. This co-production between Star Cinema and Viva Films is amazing! It’s all worth it and I highly recommend it.

“Paano Kita Iibigin” is a great movie. It offers a great deal of romance and the right amount of drama and humor. Go and WATCH IT!!!

P.S. Eugene Domingo rocks!!!

I give up!!! It's really not my thing...

People around me are already confused and I must admit, I, myself is also confused with what I really want. It’s very ironic how I long to have a boyfriend, someone who’ll love and accept me for who I am, and then when love comes my way, a boy is there…so ready to love me, suddenly, I feel so awkward that I want to be shielded and it’s like “No! I don’t want a boyfriend. I’m not yet ready. I’m still enjoying life, being alone…single. I don’t want someone making gulo and pakialam with my life.” And I would suddenly realize that I am really not yet ready and I’ll just end up hurting somebody else’s feelings if I’ll force myself to be in a relationship. So I guess this is the reason why I’m single most of the time.

This summer, I’ve been through a lot of things, emotionally. And I can say that they have made me a better person. I can’t say that I’m matured enough but I know that it will come. Anyway, maturity is a process and experience will be my guide.

I had a realization also this summer that I shouldn’t feel bad about online get-to-know each other and meet ups cause after all, I’m gay and for me to hope for a romantic first encounter is just impossible. Maybe if I am in Manhattan in New York, a romantic encounter will be possible but I’m not there. I’m here in the make-believe conservative country…the Philippines. So to hope for something like that will happen to me is a punch to the moon. Ok, so I’m not saying that this kind of phenomenon in the local gay community will not happen. Of course it will or should I say it did happen already but it’s one in a million. So what’s my guarantee that I’m one of the chosen few??? And so this summer, I plunged myself into this so called online get-to-know each other thing. And what can I say??? Yes, I did enjoy it. I would be a hypocrite if I say I didn’t. Of course I love the compliments and I love it when cute guys message me and ask me out.

But after engaging in it for quite sometime, I have come to realize that this “thing” is really not for me. Maybe a lot of gays and bisexuals enjoy it but not me. Honestly, it doesn’t give me satisfaction at all. It doesn’t give me pleasure and I can’t go away from the fact that it’s such a desperate move cause it’s like looking for someone to love. I don’t know but there’s something in me that’s so convinced that this online get-to-know each other thing is so cheap aside from the fact that it’s very, very unsafe. To think that you’re going to meet up with someone you don’t know and who knows if he is a criminal or a bad person. And to be honest, I’M REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH MEET UPS!!!

And so after much consideration, I am proud to say that I’M GIVING IT UP! for the simple reason that it’s not my thing. And I don’t think I’m ever gonna regret giving it up. I won’t miss it at all. I’ve given up my faith that someday I will come across a guy in the cyber world and probably we can try to fit in a romantic relationship. I don’t see it happening to me. It’s just not my thing.

So maybe I’m gonna wait for someone to come in to my life and wish for a romantic first encounter to happen. If that moment wouldn’t come, then maybe I’m destined to be single forever. Well…what’s wrong with that? I mean maybe it’s my fate and I have to accept that.

Anyway, I’m still young and there’ll be more men coming…maybe I’m gonna meet him in the workplace... why not?!

And just a thought…you don’t look for a special someone. He will come!

All you have to do is wait for him to come in to your life and when you feel that he’s the one… NEVER LET GO!

I'm hurting! I am really not Ok...

I would like to start this with the first stanza of Gabrielle’s song, “Out of Reach”. The stanza I have chosen truly express what I feel inside.

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

I won’t be a hypocrite and say I’m ok because I am really not ok. I admit it, right now, I’m hurting and the degree of emotional pain I’m experiencing is something I have never felt before.

You might think I’m over reacting or exaggerating but maybe if you try to put yourself on my shoes, then you’ll understand why I am reacting like this and that I’m far from exaggerating.

I’ll admit it, I really really like him. He’s got all the qualities and characteristics that I’m looking for in a guy. He’s so nice and I don’t care if he feels his physical attributes are inferior compared to other guys. It’s not a big deal for me because to be honest, for me, he’s cute. I love the way he treats me and he’s not hard to fall in love with.

When he came in to my life, I was so overwhelmed because I thought he maybe the answer to my prayers, the guy I’m asking for, the one who’ll love and accept me for who I am. I told my best friend, Korina that if ever he’ll ask me out I will definitely say yes. And if ever he’s really serious about me, I will surely say yes to him.

Everybody knows that I fall in love very fast. With him, I really felt so special. He treated me the way I want to be treated. He made me feel that he’s serious about me. He made me feel that this will work out. He’s very different from all the guys I have met before because he’s decent and serious about life. I can see the effort he’s making to reach out to me and make me feel his presence. I felt the efforts he’s making to make me feel I’m important to him.

But what happened suddenly? I don’t get the sudden change on him.

What was that story he dropped on me last Tuesday?

If I’m going to review all our conversations, there was never an insinuation that he works abroad. There was never a slightest hint that he’s staying there for 2 years already and only had a vacation here at the Philippines this April. Listening to that story, I have figured out so many inconsistencies. Some parts of it were accurate; a large portion of it was full of flaws.

I’m so sure, I made it clear. I even asked him questions and his answers prove that he stays here in Manila. If I’m going to analyze it, his previous stories to me were very inconsistent with what he told me last Tuesday.

Was that story a made-up one because he can’t directly tell me that he doesn’t want me? That he was just infatuated? That he was just attracted so dearly to my pictures? Was that story an easy way out to let me now he’s not in to me and it’s over? The txt message he sent me after we parted ways, what does that mean?

I DON’T KNOW! And I probably wouldn’t know…

What hurts me the most was the fact that he made me fall for him and when the time comes that I have already fallen, he dropped me and left me alone. If ever the story he told me last Tuesday was really true, then why the hell did he even asked me if he could court me knowing that in a week time, he’s already leaving to work abroad? He was also very firm that he doesn’t want a long distance relationship because it’s very hard and very unfair on my part. So why did he even asked if he could court me if he knew from the very start that if I’ll say yes to him, what we’ll be having is a long distance relationship? Was he so insensitive? If it’s really true that he works abroad and he’s just here to have a vacation for three weeks, why did he even asked for my number, talked to me in the phone, and even asked me to meet up? Didn’t it occur to him that I will be hurt because of the emotional attachment?

It’s just so painful that I’m so ready to give my heart to him and there he goes, telling me that this won’t work out because I’m leaving on Saturday. “we’ll just keep in touch”…

Maybe I expected a lot from him…Maybe I expected a lot from it… but you can’t blame me cause it’s what his words and actions tells me so. It’s so easy to say I never wanted to hurt you but how pleasant our lives will be if we learn to watch our language and actions closely. Korina has always told me, say it when you mean it. When he says “I miss you to me”, I don’t know if he really means it but on my part, I know in my heart and soul that I really miss him. If he was just playing, he shouldn’t have overused that phrase on his messages to me because it really meant so much to me and it made me believe that he’s really serious about us.

Which story is true? Is he working here in the Philippines or abroad? What story should I believe? Is he serious about me?

In any case, he lied to me and that won’t change the fact that he wasn’t honest and sincere to his words. If that story was just an alibi, I just hope he told me frankly about what he really felt cause it’s better to be hurt honestly than be fooled.

At the end of it all, though he has hurt me, I am not mad at him! I don’t regret having known and met him because he’s a very nice person and he was the first man to ever treat me the way I want to be treated. I know it’s over and everything between us was done but I still feel for him. He still has a special place in my heart. Guess I should thank him, after all cause he taught me a lesson by hurting me.

Moving on and letting go is a process and I’m ready to embark on this journey.

Ang Cute Ng Ina Mo

5/5

I am not a fan of comedy flicks. This is because I find a lot of comedy movies very very corny especially here in the Philippines where jokes are very cliches, dialogues and plots which are supposed to be funny, aren't really comedic at all. Another thing I hate about the Philippine comedy cinema are the comedians who thinks they are funny when in fact they suck!

A few weeks ago when ABS-CBN started showing the trailer of this movie, I really told myself that I'm going to watch this movie. For one, I have always admired AiAi Delas Alas, as a matter of fact she's my favorite comedy actress. I can still remember how I laughed my lungs out when I watched "Ang Tanging Ina" four years ago. Another reason why I will watch the movie is because of Eugene Domingo and John Lapuz. These two comedians are the best! They're my favorites ever since and they can really make me laugh with their brand new line of comedy everytime. I also love these two commedians because they're very natural, it's as if they're not acting at all. With a powerhouse cast that will surely make me laugh, "Ang Cute ng Ina Mo" must be really great.

Last Easter Sunday, I spent my afternoon watching this movie with my sister and my mom. We watched at Robinsons Galleria and whoa!!! the movie house was so full. If I'm not mistaken even the first row from the big screen was occupied.
The movie didn't disappoint me. It presented comedy at its best. The first three minutes of the movie made me laugh already so imagine having to seat at the movie house for almost an hour and forty-five minutes, I felt like I don't have courage to stand up and walk the aisle of the cinema out because I really laughed so loud. My goodness!
There were fresh jokes and I admire the script writers for that. I love how the director, Wenn Deramas, presented old, cliche comedic scenes in such a way that it appeared as though it was new. The dialogues were just as perfect. The cast were fabulous. AiAi and Eugene's exchange of dialogues brought the movie house down. Their dialogues and comedic confrontation scenes were the most humorous scenes I have ever seen in my entire life.
I highly recommend this movie because it's worth it. It will make your tears roll down because of laughter and it's 100% not corny!

P.S. Two of my favorite scenes was when AiAi was supposed to be leaving for Australia already but she was trapped in a coup d' etat and upon reaching the airport she finds out that she can't leave because her passport was full of gun shots. The second one was when Eugene called AiAi's ex husband and before she can even say a word, AiAi pointed a knife to her neck to prevent her from saying anything (their dialogue and acting in this particular scene made everyone go crazy).

Dream Girls

3/5 stars

Aside from the fantastic music, fabulous costumes and excellent cinematography, there's nothing superb with this movie.
I was a bit disappointed because I expected a lot from the movie but as it turned out, there's nothing new about it. Weeks before watching the film, I didn't read a single review about it so that I will still be surprise when I finally get the chance to watch it. After seeing the film, I can say that a lot of the scenes were predictable. It's like I am not excited to see the next scene because I know what's going to happen next.
I also disagree with all the people who loved Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "Am Telling You I'm Not Going". Now I know why she was voted out of American Idol. Her voice is so thick and for me, the song doesn't fit well with her voice. There were parts in her rendition that her voice is garalgal. The ad lib she did was horrible, her falsettos were even more terrible and her belting was awful. Sure! her acting was good but not her singing. For some people, her rendition of the song may have caused them to have goose bumps but not me. I honestly didn't like it. Without any biases, Regine Velasquez's live performance of the song is still far better.
A lot of the people who have seen the film also told me that Jennifer really overshadowed Beyonce in both acting and singing. I am not a Beyonce fan but with all fairness to her, she acted really well. It just so happen that Jennifer's character caused the conflict in the film so of course her character will have more drama, dialogues and will demand for stronger emotions.
After criticizing Jennifer Hudson's overrated rendition of "Am Telling You I'm Not Going" and saying that there is nothing new and superb with the movie, I still don't regret having watched it.
The movie is still worth watching. It's still worth your 130 bucks. The production design is really excellent. I particularly love the way the director interconnected several shots to maximize the use of time in the film. If you love musicals, I highly recommend this film. And finally, though there was nothing new with the film and undeniably there were a lot of cliches, I can say that the story line was fully developed and I can't deny the fact that there's still beauty in predictability.

P.S. Though I didn't like her voice, I do believe that Jennifer Hudson is a great actress and she deserves the Golden Globe and Oscar she has won.

Dave...these past few weeks...

The past two weeks after Valentine's Day were two of the busiest weeks of my life. I don't know how I was able to manage but I did. For two weeks, I never had at least five hours of sleep. I recharge for only one and a half to two hours daily because of reading assignments, midterm exams, reaction papers and other school works. We are now in our 9th week. Five more weeks and the term will be over. I can't wait for that day!

Anyway, there are a lot of things I wanted to share in the past few weeks but I don't have the luxury of time to do so because of my very lovable and very considerate schedule. I felt that I needed to share this things already before I even forget them.

I made a promise to myself this New Year that I will try my best to watch the movies I want in cinemas during their theatrical showing. With all fainess to me, I am really making extra efforts to keep up to that promise. As of now, I haven't missed any movie that I want to watch. I have seen "The Holiday", "Music and Lyrics" and "You Got Me". Two weeks from now, I'm going to watch "Dreamgirls" naman..

other things in my life right now:

- Aside from Grey's Anatomy, I am also addicted to Gonut Donut's Yummy Vanilla and Oishi's Potato Crisps.

- I have realized that I want to read J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series again. I stopped in book 2 (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) kasi in 2004. I don't know I got bored eh.. But this afternoon, I went to the movie house to watch "You Got Me" and before the movie, they showed the trailer of the new Harry Potter movie and once again it awakened my senses to continue reading the series. Since my passion to finish it was stirred, I'm going to read it na uli... FYI: I haven't seen any of the four Harry Potter movies because I was always telling myself that I want to finish reading the book versions first before watching.

- I want to buy a book! I just don't know what book I want. I have three choices right now, "Goddess: Inside Madonna" by Barbara Victor, "Memories of My Melancholy Whores" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez or "Orosa-Nakpil Malate" by:Louie Mar A. Gangcuangco (it's really good daw..) Ahhh!! I'm so confused!

- I feel so bad that the new issue of the Kris Aquino Magazine is still on hold because of what's happening to Kris right now. I am honestly disgusting James Yap na... I wish Kris didn't marry him nalang... Honestly, I really think that Kris doesn't love James the way she loved Joey Marquez! basta i HOPE maging ok na si kris. ay! mali! ayaw pala niya yang word na yan... hahahaha!!! can I just say na ang pangit ni hope ha... yucky siya ha...

- ok! fine! i'll admit it na talaga... I am still madly in love with GAVIN! with all my heart and soul... he's still the one talaga!!!

Finally, I gotta go na... it's 3am.. I still have a thick handout that I have to finish reading by tomorrow for my oral exam in philosophy of religion on Monday and I gotta decide what book I'm gonna buy.

till next time!

You Got Me

5/5

"You Got Me" is my favorite. You may say that the movie is jologs or whatever but I don't give a damn! It's so good kaya... Aside from the fact that the movie is really nakakakilig, there were also scenes that I wanted to cry because I was so carried away. I love the movie's ending! It was really nakakakilig and for me it's very unique taking into consideration that I have seen almost all the romantic-comedy movies in town. For a new comer, Zanjoe Marudo gave a superb performance. He proved to everyone that he's not just a model-trying hard to be an actor but indeed an actor in his own right. I don't really like Sam Milby ever since but this movie made me like him. Yes he's very cute! VERY VERY CUTE and he's a good actor. His acting is very natural. Toni Gonzaga was fabulous in this movie. After watching the film this afternoon, I am now Toni's number one fan! She's really good in comedy as well as in drama. She deserves applause for her performance in this movie even though it's a feel good one. It's very natural, it's as if she wasn't acting at all. It just proves to show that she's a good actress and she was able to own her character as Mo. Star Cinema's really great! They have never failed my expectations when it comes to producing world class films. You Got Me was a perfect example of a SHOW DON'T TELL movie. It's definitely one of the year's must see films. I highly recommend it!

Music and Lyrics

4/5 stars

"Music and Lyrics" was also good. Drew Barrymore was in her usual wit and she was really fabulous in this movie. Hugh Grant...uhm.. I never thought that he knew how to sing but he's good. His voice is really favorable and it's more nakaka in love than Ewan McGregor's. Though the movie was predictable, I can say that the dialogues were great and it helped a lot in moving forward the story. Drew and Hugh's chemistry was fantastic. It's the one that could defeat the Grant-Roberts in Notting Hill and even the Grant-Bullock chemistry in Two Weeks Noticed. I love the songs used in this film. Actually, I have downloaded "Pop Goes My Heart" and of course, "Way Back In To Love". These two songs were part of the most played playlist in my iPod. Over all, the movie was great and it's worth every penny.

The Holiday

2/5

Forget about "The Holiday"! If not because of Jude Law and Kate Winslet's opening monologue...the movie is crap! To begin with, Jude Law and Cameron Diaz doesn't have chemistry at all. Cameron Diaz's acting in this flick really sucked but I must admit that her outfits were remarkable. The problem of this film is in the story telling aspect. In my opinion, the story wasn't fully developed.

My love life???

It took me quite awhile to update my blog. I got so busy with tons of school works, reading assignments, addicting TV series, and boy obsessions (or was it infatuation? to be honest, I don’t know what was it!)

This post marks my first for this year and I chose this special day because after all, this day is for St. Valentine (hello? People???)

To be perfectly honest with the whole world, I don’t feel sorry for myself because it’s Valentine’s Day and I don’t have a fucking love life. I don’t even feel depressed or sad about my situation. I have always believed that Valentine’s Day is nothing but a state of mind. I never connected it with love and romance. For me, it’s just a normal day, Kris Aquino’s birthday, my cousin’s birthday, (since I don’t have classes on Wednesdays this term) it’s my “sleep day”.

You see? I don’t think that Valentine’s Day is one hell of a special day.

You can be romantic everyday!

You can go out on a dinner with your boyfriend everyday!

You can have sex everyday!

so I really don’t understand why Valentine’s Day was such a special day for most people. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m the most mushy person you’ll ever meet in your life, I’m the most hopeless romantic person who’ll ever walk in the face of the earth. It’s just that the Valentine’s Day fever was really making me sick. I logged in to my friendster account today and read this in my bulletin board,

“sad ako ngayong valentine’s day huhuhuhuhu”

holy crap!! What a pathetic statement coming from a girl!

What I’m saying here is, if you don’t have a love life and it’s Valentine’s Day, SO??? What’s the problem? Are you gonna die? You’re depressed? Oh come on! For God’s sakes I don’t give a damn if it’s Valentine’s Day. It’s just the 14^th of February, nothing special about it.

My love life???

YES! I don’t have a love life and I won’t be a hypocrite and say I’m ok. After taking up Genders class 6 months ago, I’m more convinced that I am a person who sees love as a fusion of two personalities. I don’t feel complete as a person if I don’t have someone to share my life with. Yes! I believe in soulmates, I’m waiting for magic to happen.

Unfortunately, I have none. I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t have a love life. So what do I do now? Feel sorry for myself? Be depressed to death until someone walks in and sweep me off my feet??? Walk around wearing a placard saying ‘I NEED A BOYFRIEND!’ of course I can’t do that.

so like I always say…

Guess I’ll just have to wait for someone who’ll walk in to my life and see what will happen. And until there’s no one… I can’t do anything…

Wala e…alangan namang ipilit ko e sa wala talaga…