2006: Lessons I've Learned

Two days before we welcome the New Year, here I am counting the blessings God has sent my way this year. I am also here to share the lessons I’ve learned this year and I hope that somehow, in one way or another, those of you who’ll read this will also learn from me.

“Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everythings okay and everythings going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everythings gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face”

If I wrote this entry a couple of months ago, I wouldn’t be this thankful. In fact, the entry will be full of anger, bitterness, and hatred. But life has moved in a very positive way for me and I felt like it is inappropriate for me to still be bitter with what happened in the past.

The start of 2006 wasn’t really good for me. I was in a bad, unhealthy relationship that I formally ended four days before Valentine’s Day. Instead of making me better, it made me worst. And for the record it was the most pathetic, fucking relationship I have ever been in to. I’m glad it was over and the break-up came from me. During the early quarter of the year, I wasn’t also doing well in terms of my studies. At the end of the third term of the last school year, I was threatened to have a GPA of 0.9. I was also eliminated out of the lists of priority enrollees (forever). Hello? What’s happening to me?

During summer, I was very sure that I am happy in my program. I dreamed of having a business degree and during that time, I was a fresh shiftee to the business management program. I even told myself that next term, I will bring back the old me in terms of studying. But this euphoria of being a business management student didn’t last long. A day before the start of the new school year, I finally listened to the voice behind my head saying that NO! THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT PROGRAM FOR YOU! NO! YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO FINISH THIS! For the longest time in my life, I tried to be deaf when these small voices inside my head kept on whispering to me, but not that particular Sunday morning. I came to a point in my life wherein I needed to look back and think about the decisions I made in the past to be able to understand why all these things are happening to me.

To make the long story short, I came to a conclusion that business is not for me. Aside from the fact that I hate math, there’s a deeper reason as to why I dropped all my business courses and shifted back to the College of Liberal Arts and it is because I am not happy with what I’m doing. I am not happy as to where I am at that time. It felt like I was just there, studying all these accounting principles, all these managerial concepts, all these marketing strategies because someone wants me to be there, someone told me you can do that, someone insisted this is for you. And as it appears, I am not living my life for me… I am living it for someone else’s and I had to correct everything. I can’t fix something by committing another mistake. I can’t continue something I know I can’t finish. It was so easy for people to say, KAYA MO YAN! NAGIGIVE UP KA AGAD E! DAHIL LANG SA ISANG BAGSAK NA SUBJECT, AYAW MO NA! WALA KA TALAGANG MATATAPOS PAG GANYAN KA.

It was so easy for them to say those words because they weren’t on my shoes and their studies are doing great. They’re happy with their courses and life seems so good to them. I, above anybody else know myself and my limitations so who were they to tell me what I can’t and can do?

“I'll never give up. Never give in.
Never let a ray of doubt slip in and if I fall,
I'll never fail. I'll just get up and try again

Never lose hope .Never lose faith
There's much too much at stake upon myself I must depend”

It took a lot of faith and self-esteem to be able to get where I am now. It was not easy to be deaf and not mind all the bad things I heard about me from other people’s mouth. It was never easy to just close your eyes, hold your tears so it won’t roll down, and control your temper so you wouldn’t burst out of anger when people criticize you for your wrong decisions. I JUST HOPE THAT PEOPLE WILL LOOK IN TO THEIR OWN LIVES FIRST BEFORE EVEN CRITISIZING OTHERS!

“I believe in the impossible
If I reach deep within my heart
Overcome any obstacle
Won't let this dream fall apart
See I strive to be the very best
Shine my light for all to see
Cause anything is possible
When you believe”

Now, I wouldn’t say I am in a higher ground. I wouldn’t say I am a saint; I’m just a normal human being who has experienced a bit of adventure in life. I don’t regret being a risk taker because you learn a lot from being one.

If there were five most important lessons I learned this year, they were:

  1. The virtue of patience – one of the most important truths in life I learned in this experience was wait for the right time. It makes your faith stronger and it helps you feel every single moment of your life.

  1. Take everything seriously – I use to slack off in making decisions. I used to be the “bahala na si batman type”. I usually don’t focus much on my life but this experience taught me how to be concerned with every detail of my life because back then, if just one thing went wrong, I’m doomed to failure. We were given just one life, one shot of opportunities and WE SHOULD TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

  1. Learn from your mistakes – the reason why God gives us trials is because HE wants us to learn, HE wants us to correct our mistakes because HE loves us and HE wouldn’t allow us to continue doing the wrong things. I think this is the most important lesson every human being should learn because otherwise you’ll grow old and eventually die learning nothing.

“Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this all on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance”

  1. Let God drive your life – it feels enormously great having God as the one directing you because believe it or not, you can’t do it with your own strength.

  1. THANK YOU – it is the magic word. Learn to say thank you as often as you could because our lives was a well of favors and it doesn’t take much to express your gratitude to the people who has been good to you. And it’s a great hobby to say thank you especially if you got what you asked for.

Year 2006 was such a year for me. It was literally like a roller coaster, with all the twists, turns, and the exciting loops. At the end of everything, I don’t have any regrets at all because I needed to go through all of that to make me a better person that I am right now.

Life’s too short to be bitter and it was never right to keep grudges in your heart. I have healed and the pains of the past were genuinely things of the past for me already. I can now face them with a smile on my face. I have finally forgiven.

Finally, I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to all the people whom I have asked favors with. I may not remember all of you but THANK YOU, anyway. I would also like to say thank you to all the people who have stood by me and who have never left my side. This thank you segment will never be complete if I don’t say thank you to my family for their unconditional love to me. And to Korina (my best friend), who tolerated a person like me, for loving a broken-record friend that I am, for giving me wonderful advices and most importantly for being my friend through thick and thin.

Above anything else, THANK YOU, LORD JESUS CHRIST for a wonderful year. Thank you for all the answered prayers in my life. Thank you for all the blessings you have given me and my family in all aspects of our lives. Thank you! Thank you! And again I say Thank you!

May we all welcome 2007 with joy and thanksgiving in our hearts. Let us always remember that whatever trials we are in to, whatever trials we are going to face in the future, all it takes is prayer and perseverance. Hold tighter to our faiths and everything will fall on their right places.

HAPPY NEW YEAR to EVERYONE!!!

Me | My Dad | My Mom | ~>> bonding with my parents!!! =))

This was one of the happiest days of my life. I bonded with my parents the whole day. My sister still has classes so she wasn’t able to come with us. A planned shopping escapade alone turned out to be a family affair. Today, I felt so loved! It was a wonderful sensation to once again experience the feeling of being the only child. When your parent’s attention was all yours, your opinion and interests were the most important thing in the world. Maybe, I totally missed the feeling because my mom gave birth to my sister when I was three years old so I never really knew how it feels to be the only child but this afternoon, at nineteen years old, guess I have experienced one of the delightful emotions in the world. It was definitely an unexplainable feeling. My parents proved to me today how much they really love me. I really felt that I was their favorite child (at least for a day)… well, I know for a fact that I am my dad’s favorite but my mom’s “darling” is really my sister. It was a nice view to see the three of us: my dad, my mom, and me; I was actually thinking that probably, people thought that I’m an only child! hehe!!!

Glad, happy, overwhelmed were underrated descriptions of my day. Even I can’t think of the proper word/s to describe my day! All I can say is that I am very thankful to God for all these blessings, for all the love, for all the answered prayers in my life. There’s really no room for me to be a bratty pa! =)

P.S. I bought two new pairs of shoes today! I really love shoes so much!

Early Christmas Treats!


Yesterday was an early Christmas treat for me. I was able to get a copy of K Mag’s fourth issue. Actually, I wasn’t expecting for it because last November ABS-CBN Publications said that the next issue of K Mag will be out January 2007. I was surprised when I checked Kris’ YG last Saturday that it was already out. It’s not a secret that I really delight on reading Kris’ Magazine. For whatever reason, I feel so relaxed when reading it and not to forget that I am learning a lot from it because it’s not about “kalandian” and “kaaretehan” lang! K Mag's a wonderful magazine. It's very informative and it perfectly satisfies the curiosity not only of Kris’ avid fans but also the interests of teenagers, young adults, career women, single mothers, and of course members of the third sex who look up to Kris as their icon. As a matter of fact, it’s the number 1 magazine in the Philippines ever since its maiden issue, dethroning Cosmopolitan Magazine. I’m going to read it na before going to bed this morning (I’m an insomiac!)

I got a gift today from one of my godmother. I can’t remember when was the last time I saw her because she and her husband migrated to Canada when I was still a little kid. I’m so touched because she sent me a NIKE rubber shoe and again, it’s not a secret that I love shoes! As in super-duper love!!! Hello??? I invest a lot on my shoes noh because I really don’t buy fake ones especially rubber shoes and sneakers! I can starve myself just so I can save money to buy shoes!!! Anyway, the rubber shoe was so cool! She said she bought it in Florida. =) Love it!!!!

On Wednesday, I’m going to buy another one after my STAT101 final exam. This time…sneakers!

I still don’t know what color but definitely not black!!! I’ll probably buy a new “sporty” jacket too! These two are my Christmas gifts to myself!!! Can’t wait for Wednesday na tuloy!!! Hay!

P.S. I’m so excited about next term!!! As in I bought new stuffs kanina sa bookstore… =)

Furious | Hurting | Jealous...Dave!

I should be happy because after all, everything in my life today came about the way I wanted them to be. I got a 3.0 in my last exam for statistics and I was able to take a nap (big deal!!!) at our library this afternoon. I just don't know why I feel so down right now. It's as if I'm going to breakdown any moment from now. I feel so different. I want to cry but I can't.

I am full of anger, bitterness, jealousy, and pain.

I am still bitter about our situation. Although I already told Korina yesterday that I am on the process of giving up, I still can't deny the fact that I am still hurting and I don't know if there's a way for me to stop feeling this way anymore. Honestly, it's very destructive on my part already but no matter how hard I try to set aside my feelings for him, I simply can't! After all, he's my every single thought! Although I am perfectly aware that we can't be together...that friends are all we're going to be...I don't know why I'm still hoping for something more... I love him so much!

I don't know if I can go back to the normal me anytime soon...

I am full of anger! I don't know with whom or to whom... I just know that I am very angry...maybe to myself!

I envy her a lot! Since last night, she's getting a different kind of attention she shouldn't be having. I hate the fact that their favoritism was very evident since last night. Fine! She maybe their favorite but hey, SHE CAN NEVER BE ME! SHE CAN NEVER DO THE THINGS THAT I CAN! SHE CAN NEVER LEVEL WITH MY ACHIEVEMENTS!

DAVE's so overwhelmed!

I am so overwhelmed! I'm still in cloud 9 right now! I never thought that my papers would impress my professors (as if...pa humble pa! hehe!). At least all my sleepless nights paid off!

from my FOOD WRITING professor:

"THIS IS A VERY COMPETENT WRITTING!!! A VERY WELL WRITTEN PAPER! THE USE OF ANECDOTES IS VERY GOOD!
VERY GOOD, ROEJHON!"

from my HISTORY OF CIVILIZATION professor:

VERY WELL SAID! YOU CAN BE A WRITER!

With these comments on my writing, I am more and more encouraged to write. I badly need this compliments to keep me going. To fire up my enthusiasm and excitement in bringing back the OLD Dave (the super OC) in terms of study habits. I miss that Dave...

tsk tsk...

I promise next term! I'm gonna make it like you never knew it cause there's so much more to me!!! (parang song toh!?) yeah man!!!

Anyway, I am so sleepy na!!! My stat101 prof will give back the results of our last exam tomorrow... I'm keeping my fingers crossed!!! Hell with math!

P.S. I am still brokenhearted!!! I hope I could tell you how much I Iove you!!!

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