You Gotta Have Faith: 10 Lessons of My 2010

It’s funny and surreal how fast time flies. It felt like a million dozen days going through the year but now looking back, it seems like it was just yesterday when we celebrated New Year at the Baguio Country Club. 2010 was quite a year for me. So many crossroads...so many changes...so many lessons learned. If I’ll be asked to sum up my 2010 in one word, it’ll definitely be FAITH!

I am writing this at 3am, five days before 2011 and once again, I’d like to assess what have gone of my 2010. I love doing this because I want to see to it that as another year passes by, I have learned from all the joyful and hurtful experiences the Lord sent me this year. And so here is my 2010 in 10 simple but meaningful lessons:

01 Family is what Matters.

I went through a difficult emotional breakdown 3^rd quarter of this year and I swear to God I wouldn't have survived it if not for the love, support, prayers and understanding of my family most especially of my mom and my sister. I have to commend my sister for really stepping up during my time of weakness; for untiringly comforting me and showering me with words of encouragement , constantly reminding me that I’m not alone. I know I wouldn't have triumphed through all those panic attacks if she weren't by my side. Love and take care your family most importantly your immediate one. Never hesitate in expressing your love for them, splurge and spoil them, as much as you can be there in every moment, and stick with them because they’re the ones who’ll be with you when you reach rock bottom.

02 Happiness is a Feeling not a Choice

I hate it when people tell me happiness is a choice! Because it’s not! In this life, it’s either you’re happy or you’re sad. It’s either you’re celebrating or you’re miserable. For obtaining happiness by just choosing to be happy is not genuine happiness that comes from within but sadness under the disguise of a transient bliss.

03 Adjust and Compromise but Never Lose Your Core

It’s inevitable in this life to make “pakikisama” and “pakikibagay” for you to survive. You can’t act as if you’re the most important human being. You can never live alone in your bubble forever because time will come and it will burst. Sometimes, you have to do things even if it’s not what you want and it’s not who you are. You need to be flexible and adjust because the situation calls for it. You need to compromise because life isn’t always about how you want it to be. As a matter of fact, it’s about how humble you can be to sacrifice what you want with what is right and what you should do. Every day we have to find the perfect balance but always bear in mind that compromising can only do so much. Never ever let it change your inner being. The goodness of who you are as a person is still what matters at the end of the day.

04 If you’re Miserable, Do Something about It!

I know this is easier said than done. And trust me; I know the feeling of this dilemma by heart. It’ll literally drive you insane! But always remember that you are miserable because something is wrong, either in your life as a whole, or in your career, in your family, in your love life, etc. I also know for a fact that choices specifically involving your family, your career, and your relationships are the hardest to deal with but you got to start from somewhere. Life is too short to be living it in constant misery. If you’re miserable that only goes to show that you’re not happy anymore and always ask yourself, what’s the point of staying? What’s the point of holding on if it’s keeping me miserable? You have to face reality and eliminate what’s making you so unhappy. Don’t be afraid to take risks by letting go especially if it’s the best solution there is.

05 Honesty is not Always the Best Policy.

“I don’t give a damn! I’ll say what’s in my mind.” I used to live with this principle at heart but this year, I’ve learned to tame down. I now fully understand the depth of how hurtful words can be. It stays with you and damages relationships to great extent. It’s harder now with Facebook and Twitter around when you can go online anytime and lash out your anger and bitterness to the world. But it’s proven that we regret almost half if not everything that we said during moments of sudden burst of anger. This year I learned that sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to just keep your displeasure to someone/something to yourself. After all, not everything should be left out in the open. And it really pays to not only be prudent with what you say and how you react, it’s also more rewarding that you know you were sensitive enough with others’ emotions.

06 Be True to Yourself

I swear the worst thing you can do to yourself is pretend to be ok when you’re not. Pretend to be happy when you feel the other way around. And pretend to be someone you’re not and will never be. Show your true emotions, admit it and own it! Most importantly, celebrate your own uniqueness. Live out your passion! As much as you can, don’t force yourself in doing things you’re not fond of. It’s very important to have your heart in whatever you’re doing. I know that as a consequence for living out your passion, you have to give up and forego of some things or maybe for some, a lot of things. But you have to be brave enough to stand up and take the risk of what will ultimately make you happy.

07 Live in the Moment

Perhaps my biggest problem this year is failing to live in the NOW! I am so busy stressing in the past and worrying the future. In so doing, I failed to enjoy every moment of my present and that’s so devastating to realize. I’d like to share this quote from Mother Theresa that I read from the latest issue of the Kris Aquino Magazine, “Be happy in the moment—that’s enough. Each moment is all we need—not more.”

08 Positivity is Something You Thrive For

Just watch the 7pm news and you’ll see how much negativity and evil is surrounding us. Life is already very depressing as it is and so it’s on you to always look for the bright side of things. But mind you, this isn’t very easy to do. Positivity is something that doesn’t come naturally in a world full of negative vibe. It is something you work hard for and takes a lot of effort obtaining. And so don’t deprive yourself of things that make you happy for sometimes, even the worst days of failure can be cooled down by a new pair of shoes or a hot fudge sundae.

09 PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.

I don’t think I even have to expound the power of prayer. Instead, I’ll share lyrics of the song “On My Knees” by Jaci Velasquez. It expresses everything I have to say and believe about prayer.

There are days
when I feel
The best of me
is ready to begin (the end)
Then there's (the) days
when I feel
I'm letting go
and soaring on the wind
'Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain
How to survive!

I get on my knees! (x2)
There I am before the Love
That changes me
See I don't know how
But there's power
When I'm on my knees

I can be
in a crowd
Or by myself
and almost anywhere
When I feel
there's a need
To talk with God
He is Emmanuel
When I close my eyes,
no darkness there
There's only light!

I get on my knees (x2)
There I am before the Love that changes me
See I don't know how, but there's power
In the blue skies, in the midnight
When I'm on my knees
I get on my knees (x2)
There I am before the Love
That changes me
See I don't know how, but there's power
When I'm on my, oh, when I'm on my
When I'm on my knees

10 Your FAITH will See You Through

I am far from being perfect but I’d like to believe I am a better person now than

I was a year ago. I don’t want to sound so preachy and pretend to be holy. I am still a sinner like everyone else. I am still a person who commits mistakes and falls short of temptations every now and then. What I can honestly say now is that whatever disappointments, failures, frustrations, hardships, and mistakes I've done and encountered this year have definitely brought me closer to God. This year was an awakening for me in many ways and I am proud to say that now, I have a renewed relationship with the Lord.

2010 to me, means FAITH, because my experiences this year thought me a lot of what faith is really all about. It’s easy to say I have faith in the Lord but it entails a whole lot of gravity in the essence of the word. It’s not just the belief to something/someone that is not seen or heard. Faith to me, now, is the complete and utter surrender of everything to God. And I mean everything even to the smallest of decisions I have to make. This year I was reminded that we human beings are expected to “live by faith” which ultimately means putting everything of your everyday life to Him and Him alone.

As I’ve said, life is already very depressing as it is and I can’t think of any better way how to even last a day if not for His love and undoubted presence in our lives. We are here because of Him and I swear without Him, we are just as helpless as we could ever be. As we usher in another year, maybe like me, some of you also feel anxious and fears what lies ahead… what’s in store for you, your family, your career, your love life, your health on 2011. So many things can happen, so many things can change in a blink of an eye but that’s what “living by faith” means…giving it all up to Jesus who will certainly see us though every waking minute.

2010 thought me a lot of wonderful and meaningful lessons and I now find myself ending my prayers like this:

I lift up all my worries and fears to you oh Lord.

I trust you with all my heart and forever will my

FAITH rest upon you. Please see me through…

Amen.

The Lord Jesus Christ is our only hope in this cruel, hopeless, rotting world but surrendering your Faith to Him doesn’t necessarily mean a life free of sadness and hurt. Surely, these two culprits will still bump us along the roads of 2011 together with their ever loyal companions--disappointment and frustration—but with God’s grace and loving mercy, I’m sure that we will all see it through the challenges of 2011 if we’ll rest our FAITH in Him.

Happy New Year Everyone and to GOD be the glory forever!

Part 1: 2009 And The Lessons I Learned About LIFE

Four days have passed since 2010 started and like many, I find myself thinking what year 2009 has been for me. As I write this reflection of my year 2009, I have only one goal, and that is, in one way or the other, whatever I’ll be sharing here will somehow touch the life of who ever will come across and read this. These are not startling realizations I’m going to share but important truths I have always taken for granted.

When I graduated from college October 2008, I didn’t plan to work right away. I chose to give my physical well-being the rest it very much needed. I chose to give myself a few months to enjoy the things I want to do but can’t because I’m busy studying. I chose to give myself the liberty to be where I want and need to be in the middle of the day without having to worry an appointment it might compromise. I wanted to give myself the privilege of waking up at noon and stay at bed all day just reading or watching DVDs not worrying anything at all. Above all, I wanted to savor the pleasure of being free to do what I want to do. Of course all these are but normal. What would make it abnormal is the decision on how long you would want to live like this.

I just wanted a few months to take sometime off and be back in the game again probably a month or two. But first of the many realizations I had this year is that indeed, PLANS DO CHANGE. Nothing is ever so permanent in this life but “change” itself. I was perfectly enjoying my self-imposed break when I realized three months have already passed. I started asking myself, “Oh my! It’s been three months! Should I start looking for a job now? All my friends are busy looking for a job and what am I doing killing time like this? Should I stop bumming around now? But I feel like I haven’t had enough.” With all these questions floating in my mind and the never ending pressures from friends both close to me and those just “feeling close” to me (take note: from friends and not even from my parents who’s been supporting my welfare financially speaking), I pressured myself into job hunting thinking that if not now, then when will I start?! So summer of 2009, I obliged myself to look for a job but to be perfectly honest, I’m not happy. It felt like I was doing it not for myself but for other people.

I had a HUGE job application towards the end of summer. I really really like that job but I have to be honest that while investing so much time and energy not to mention offering tremendous amount of prayers to get the job, I know that those efforts are not coming from the heart. But still, I gave my very best for that application for it is my belief that IT IS MY DUTY AND RESPONSIBILITY AS AN INDIVIDUAL TO GIVE MY BEST COME WHAT MAY. They called me for an interview and eventually I passed for the second screening and after that they never called again. I’ll be a hypocrite if I say I wasn’t hurt or disappointed at all. But that’s life. YOU WIN SOME, YOU LOSE SOME. LIFE DOESN’T ALWAYS GO YOUR WAY. And looking back now, it sure is the best that time.

I stopped looking for a job again after that HUGE application. Initially, it was because I wanted to wait for the result because they told me to give them at least a month or two to process and decide. That statement was 50% factual and 50% press release. I’ll address this now, IT’S EXHAUSTING TO DO THINGS WHEN YOU WERE JUST FORCED INTO THAT SITUATION. SACRIFICE AND HARD WORK BECOMES LESS OF A BURDEN IF YOU’RE DOING IT FROM THE HEART. And I’m not. Once again, I fell into one of the biggest mistakes a person could ever commit to himself—rob yourself of your own freewill and let the waves of pressure take you. By this time, I am aware that I was just looking for a job to hiss those people pressuring me. I was looking for a job that sudden because it’s what normal social convention is asking from me.

When I paused for a while from job hunting, I got busy taking care of the construction of the new house we were building. And eventually the big move to the new house took all of my time. Now, I can go ahead vindicate my guilt and say I was forced to this decision by an unexpected circumstance or by my family, or say “kasi naglipat kami eh sobrang hassle naman pag sinabay.” Though these can be all true, it’ll be unfair if I put the blame on someone or something because truly, I did have a choice and I chose to further stretch being a bum. I could have chosen the other path but I chose the one where I am right now. Truth behind all this, that time, I don’t think I’m ready to quit being a bum yet.

So when will I be ready? N-O-W. Some people say “there’s no right time”. The concept of right timing is just an excuse for the inconsistencies of human beings but if there’s one thing I learned this year, it’s that THERE IS A RIGHT TIME FOR EVERYTHING. And it is God who creates it. He is so gracious and powerful that He will let you know the right time for everything. I don’t mean to sound so preachy here but if you think about it, if it’s God’s will for me to work already, it was so easy for Him to just give me that HUGE application last summer. It’s so easy for Him to work His mysterious ways and present to me a job I couldn’t turn down. But He didn’t. Maybe He knows I’m not yet ready and I just wouldn’t be happy if I force it then. Looking back, I’m now convinced that God wanted me to turn down all those job offers I’m getting from August to November of this year. Maybe He’s sending those to remind me that soon I have to make a decision and quit being bum for there’s more to life than this.

GOD HAS A MASTER PLAN FOR THE LIVES OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US. It may not always be pleasant and good, at times it may even shock as BUT NEVER FOR A SECOND THINK THAT GOD IS NOT WITH YOU IN ALL THAT. I believe God willed for me to bum around this long because HE HAS A PURPOSE. I was able to do the things that I want to do with so much pleasure during this year of bumming. I was able to know myself even more and be at peace with my inner self during this entire year. Of course there are regrets but YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY WITH REGRETS. Some of my choices have made me feeling sad and depressed. There are days when I still think what if I started looking for a job early on? Maybe now I’m already working and earning my own money. What if? But you see, I’m already here, I’ve already made those choices. It’s time for me to be an adult and own my decisions. Why wallow on blame and regret now? Wouldn’t it be nicer to just suck it up and start reorganizing my life where I am right now and with what I have?

I lost one of my best friends this year so suddenly and too tragic and I realize just how short our life is. It can be taken in just split seconds of time and I don’t wanna waste mine feeling sorry for making those decisions I’ve made. Now, if I die tomorrow, at least I can say, I was able to do the things I’ve missed when I was too busy to do them. And I’m happy because I didn’t squeeze all them in two or three months of taking some time off. God gave me the chance to enjoy life and its pleasures for a year. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. Am I sorry for all those opportunities I didn’t grab? No because I don’t have to be selfish and grab whatever opportunity is coming my way. AND THOUGH IT’S TRUE THAT SOME OPPORTUNITIES COME INTO YOUR LIFE JUST ONCE, IT IS ALSO TRUE THAT IF YOU DIDN’T HAVE IT INTENTIONALLY OR UNINTENTIONALLY, THEY’RE JUST NOT MEANT FOR YOU.

I know it’ll probably be more difficult for me to find a job now. But that’s life. You made a choice, be responsible enough to take its consequences. You can’t let your life hang just like that. Do I fear the consequences of my decisions? Yes and No.

YES because I’m still a human being who doesn’t know what 2010 has in store for me. YES because though I’m ready to face whatever consequences my choices entail, those I haven’t anticipated might come up and I might not be strong enough to handle it. BUT ANOTHER THING I LEARNED ABOUT LIFE, YOU CAN’T LIVE IN FEAR. YOU CAN’T LET FEAR GET IN TO YOU BECAUSE TRUST ME; IT’LL BE A TKO WITH YOU AS THE SORE LOSER IN ALL OF IT. Fear is there for you to conquer. Most importantly, FEARS ARE JUST CHALLENGES WE HAVE TO OVERCOME FOR US TO BECOME BETTER AND TOUGHER INDIVIDUALS.

NO because despite the complexity of being at peace with the constant struggle of my human heart and mind. I know that GOD HAS A PURPOSE IN MY LIFE. I may not know His entire plan but I know it is a plan that is best for me. He willed for me to be in this situation and there’s no way He will leave me here and not help me get out of this. I believe in destiny. I believe that if something is for me, it’s for me but of course, I have to make it happen. I can’t just leave it to fate. But above all this, I believe that GOD IS WITH ME. NEVER DID HE LEFT MY SIDE AND I’M PRETTY SURE WHATEVER ENDEAVORS 2010 HAS IN STORE FOR ME, I WILL BE BRAVING IT WITH THE LORD’S GRACIOUS MERCY.

Finally, I’d like to end this on a positive note. Christmas Eve, I got a greeting from my friend, Mares Palma saying, “I’ll expect s0mething biG fr0m u nxt year!” Indeed, I’m also expecting BIG from myself this year. January 2010 is the end of my self-imposed hiatus as I put everything in my life into perspective. I will not start and stop again because now it’s coming from the HEART…I AM READY!

Marley & Me

5/5

Marley & Me is the first movie I’ve seen in the grandeur of a movie house this 2009. I went to watch it at Gateway Cineplex a week after its premiere. I am not an animal lover especially, dogs. I grew up fearing dogs; considering them as a threat that could end my life anytime. I know that Marley & Me is a story about a dog but when I saw the trailer in late December 2008, I told myself that I’m gonna watch this movie because underneath the central story of a dog, the movie hits a couple of valuable lessons that are all close to home and are inspiring in their own ways.

Based on an autobiographical book essay collection of columnist John Grogan, Marley & Me followed the life of John (Owen Wilson) from the time he and his wife Jenny (Jennifer Aniston) got married, the glory days of his career as a columnist, to the time they had children and moved to another state. The highs and lows of the story started when the couple isn’t ready yet to have a baby and so they adopted a dog and named him after the singer Bob Marley. Beyond the lovable features of Marley, he turned out to be the world’s worst dog. Unruly and stubborn, Marley humps to people and chews almost everything in his way. Even a trainer has given up on him. But despite this downside, the movie balances Marley’s bad behavior with candid and tender dog and human bonding moments. As the family grew, Marley learned to adjust with it too. Being a constant companion in private family moments, his presence though at times annoying became a must for John Grogan’s family. Their moments with Marley also became the most cherished moments of their lives. Years passed and with the help of the boisterous behavior of Marley, John and Jenny’s family learned some of the valuable lessons in life coupled with precious family memories they will all carry in their hearts forever.

I refuse to be technical about Marley & Me for it is good as it is. Instead, I’ll share some of the lessons I learned from the movie:

1. Sometimes, the worst characteristic of a person is what makes us love them. At times, we think we hate it, we hate them, but as we dig deeper, we’ll realize that these qualities are actually the magnet that draws us to them and makes us love them whatever their flaws are.

2. Relationships, specifically marriage entails with it responsibilities that doesn’t only require love and understanding but most importantly, commitment and dedication in the most profound sense of the words.

3. Letting go is as important as the air we breathe. Nothing is permanent in this world and as we live our lives, attachments, whether it is physical, emotional, or psychological, at one point in our life, has to say goodbye and we have to be ready for it. This doesn’t mean not allowing yourself to experience these emotions but knowing when to stop and say goodbye is the key.

4. Lost is a tool for us to be better. We’ve all experienced loss. Loss of a once magical love, loss of a loved one, loss of victory. Loss. It’s never easy and we may not understand the analogy there is but these failures that caused damage in us are nothing but instruments for us to struggle and be the best that we can be.

5. Family. We may not approve of them all the time. We may not always be in harmony with each other. But at the end of the day, we are still thankful that we all belong to one. For no matter how crazy we are, in the midst of whether stability or turmoil in our lives, they are the ones who have and will forever make us feel special and extraordinary.

Marley & Me will surely make it to everyone’s list of favorite movies for it is a movie that hits close to home. Everyone can relate to it one way or the other. It’ll not only make you laugh and cry at the same time but with its heartfelt story, it’ll surely touch everyone. THIS MOVIE IS A MUST WATCH!

Me | My Dad | My Mom | ~>> bonding with my parents!!! =))

This was one of the happiest days of my life. I bonded with my parents the whole day. My sister still has classes so she wasn’t able to come with us. A planned shopping escapade alone turned out to be a family affair. Today, I felt so loved! It was a wonderful sensation to once again experience the feeling of being the only child. When your parent’s attention was all yours, your opinion and interests were the most important thing in the world. Maybe, I totally missed the feeling because my mom gave birth to my sister when I was three years old so I never really knew how it feels to be the only child but this afternoon, at nineteen years old, guess I have experienced one of the delightful emotions in the world. It was definitely an unexplainable feeling. My parents proved to me today how much they really love me. I really felt that I was their favorite child (at least for a day)… well, I know for a fact that I am my dad’s favorite but my mom’s “darling” is really my sister. It was a nice view to see the three of us: my dad, my mom, and me; I was actually thinking that probably, people thought that I’m an only child! hehe!!!

Glad, happy, overwhelmed were underrated descriptions of my day. Even I can’t think of the proper word/s to describe my day! All I can say is that I am very thankful to God for all these blessings, for all the love, for all the answered prayers in my life. There’s really no room for me to be a bratty pa! =)

P.S. I bought two new pairs of shoes today! I really love shoes so much!