You Gotta Have Faith: 10 Lessons of My 2010

It’s funny and surreal how fast time flies. It felt like a million dozen days going through the year but now looking back, it seems like it was just yesterday when we celebrated New Year at the Baguio Country Club. 2010 was quite a year for me. So many crossroads...so many changes...so many lessons learned. If I’ll be asked to sum up my 2010 in one word, it’ll definitely be FAITH!

I am writing this at 3am, five days before 2011 and once again, I’d like to assess what have gone of my 2010. I love doing this because I want to see to it that as another year passes by, I have learned from all the joyful and hurtful experiences the Lord sent me this year. And so here is my 2010 in 10 simple but meaningful lessons:

01 Family is what Matters.

I went through a difficult emotional breakdown 3^rd quarter of this year and I swear to God I wouldn't have survived it if not for the love, support, prayers and understanding of my family most especially of my mom and my sister. I have to commend my sister for really stepping up during my time of weakness; for untiringly comforting me and showering me with words of encouragement , constantly reminding me that I’m not alone. I know I wouldn't have triumphed through all those panic attacks if she weren't by my side. Love and take care your family most importantly your immediate one. Never hesitate in expressing your love for them, splurge and spoil them, as much as you can be there in every moment, and stick with them because they’re the ones who’ll be with you when you reach rock bottom.

02 Happiness is a Feeling not a Choice

I hate it when people tell me happiness is a choice! Because it’s not! In this life, it’s either you’re happy or you’re sad. It’s either you’re celebrating or you’re miserable. For obtaining happiness by just choosing to be happy is not genuine happiness that comes from within but sadness under the disguise of a transient bliss.

03 Adjust and Compromise but Never Lose Your Core

It’s inevitable in this life to make “pakikisama” and “pakikibagay” for you to survive. You can’t act as if you’re the most important human being. You can never live alone in your bubble forever because time will come and it will burst. Sometimes, you have to do things even if it’s not what you want and it’s not who you are. You need to be flexible and adjust because the situation calls for it. You need to compromise because life isn’t always about how you want it to be. As a matter of fact, it’s about how humble you can be to sacrifice what you want with what is right and what you should do. Every day we have to find the perfect balance but always bear in mind that compromising can only do so much. Never ever let it change your inner being. The goodness of who you are as a person is still what matters at the end of the day.

04 If you’re Miserable, Do Something about It!

I know this is easier said than done. And trust me; I know the feeling of this dilemma by heart. It’ll literally drive you insane! But always remember that you are miserable because something is wrong, either in your life as a whole, or in your career, in your family, in your love life, etc. I also know for a fact that choices specifically involving your family, your career, and your relationships are the hardest to deal with but you got to start from somewhere. Life is too short to be living it in constant misery. If you’re miserable that only goes to show that you’re not happy anymore and always ask yourself, what’s the point of staying? What’s the point of holding on if it’s keeping me miserable? You have to face reality and eliminate what’s making you so unhappy. Don’t be afraid to take risks by letting go especially if it’s the best solution there is.

05 Honesty is not Always the Best Policy.

“I don’t give a damn! I’ll say what’s in my mind.” I used to live with this principle at heart but this year, I’ve learned to tame down. I now fully understand the depth of how hurtful words can be. It stays with you and damages relationships to great extent. It’s harder now with Facebook and Twitter around when you can go online anytime and lash out your anger and bitterness to the world. But it’s proven that we regret almost half if not everything that we said during moments of sudden burst of anger. This year I learned that sometimes, it doesn’t hurt to just keep your displeasure to someone/something to yourself. After all, not everything should be left out in the open. And it really pays to not only be prudent with what you say and how you react, it’s also more rewarding that you know you were sensitive enough with others’ emotions.

06 Be True to Yourself

I swear the worst thing you can do to yourself is pretend to be ok when you’re not. Pretend to be happy when you feel the other way around. And pretend to be someone you’re not and will never be. Show your true emotions, admit it and own it! Most importantly, celebrate your own uniqueness. Live out your passion! As much as you can, don’t force yourself in doing things you’re not fond of. It’s very important to have your heart in whatever you’re doing. I know that as a consequence for living out your passion, you have to give up and forego of some things or maybe for some, a lot of things. But you have to be brave enough to stand up and take the risk of what will ultimately make you happy.

07 Live in the Moment

Perhaps my biggest problem this year is failing to live in the NOW! I am so busy stressing in the past and worrying the future. In so doing, I failed to enjoy every moment of my present and that’s so devastating to realize. I’d like to share this quote from Mother Theresa that I read from the latest issue of the Kris Aquino Magazine, “Be happy in the moment—that’s enough. Each moment is all we need—not more.”

08 Positivity is Something You Thrive For

Just watch the 7pm news and you’ll see how much negativity and evil is surrounding us. Life is already very depressing as it is and so it’s on you to always look for the bright side of things. But mind you, this isn’t very easy to do. Positivity is something that doesn’t come naturally in a world full of negative vibe. It is something you work hard for and takes a lot of effort obtaining. And so don’t deprive yourself of things that make you happy for sometimes, even the worst days of failure can be cooled down by a new pair of shoes or a hot fudge sundae.

09 PRAY.PRAY.PRAY.

I don’t think I even have to expound the power of prayer. Instead, I’ll share lyrics of the song “On My Knees” by Jaci Velasquez. It expresses everything I have to say and believe about prayer.

There are days
when I feel
The best of me
is ready to begin (the end)
Then there's (the) days
when I feel
I'm letting go
and soaring on the wind
'Cause I've learned in laughter or in pain
How to survive!

I get on my knees! (x2)
There I am before the Love
That changes me
See I don't know how
But there's power
When I'm on my knees

I can be
in a crowd
Or by myself
and almost anywhere
When I feel
there's a need
To talk with God
He is Emmanuel
When I close my eyes,
no darkness there
There's only light!

I get on my knees (x2)
There I am before the Love that changes me
See I don't know how, but there's power
In the blue skies, in the midnight
When I'm on my knees
I get on my knees (x2)
There I am before the Love
That changes me
See I don't know how, but there's power
When I'm on my, oh, when I'm on my
When I'm on my knees

10 Your FAITH will See You Through

I am far from being perfect but I’d like to believe I am a better person now than

I was a year ago. I don’t want to sound so preachy and pretend to be holy. I am still a sinner like everyone else. I am still a person who commits mistakes and falls short of temptations every now and then. What I can honestly say now is that whatever disappointments, failures, frustrations, hardships, and mistakes I've done and encountered this year have definitely brought me closer to God. This year was an awakening for me in many ways and I am proud to say that now, I have a renewed relationship with the Lord.

2010 to me, means FAITH, because my experiences this year thought me a lot of what faith is really all about. It’s easy to say I have faith in the Lord but it entails a whole lot of gravity in the essence of the word. It’s not just the belief to something/someone that is not seen or heard. Faith to me, now, is the complete and utter surrender of everything to God. And I mean everything even to the smallest of decisions I have to make. This year I was reminded that we human beings are expected to “live by faith” which ultimately means putting everything of your everyday life to Him and Him alone.

As I’ve said, life is already very depressing as it is and I can’t think of any better way how to even last a day if not for His love and undoubted presence in our lives. We are here because of Him and I swear without Him, we are just as helpless as we could ever be. As we usher in another year, maybe like me, some of you also feel anxious and fears what lies ahead… what’s in store for you, your family, your career, your love life, your health on 2011. So many things can happen, so many things can change in a blink of an eye but that’s what “living by faith” means…giving it all up to Jesus who will certainly see us though every waking minute.

2010 thought me a lot of wonderful and meaningful lessons and I now find myself ending my prayers like this:

I lift up all my worries and fears to you oh Lord.

I trust you with all my heart and forever will my

FAITH rest upon you. Please see me through…

Amen.

The Lord Jesus Christ is our only hope in this cruel, hopeless, rotting world but surrendering your Faith to Him doesn’t necessarily mean a life free of sadness and hurt. Surely, these two culprits will still bump us along the roads of 2011 together with their ever loyal companions--disappointment and frustration—but with God’s grace and loving mercy, I’m sure that we will all see it through the challenges of 2011 if we’ll rest our FAITH in Him.

Happy New Year Everyone and to GOD be the glory forever!

25 Random Things About Gorgeous Dave

1. Sometimes, I wish I'm a straight guy. Surely, my life will totally be different. Not that I'm not happy being gay. It's just that maybe choosing a normal path will bring peace to me. Maybe the care and love of a girl is more pleasurable and satisfying than a man's love I'm forever longing for. Maybe I'll make one of the best husbands in town. Maybe I'll make a loving and caring dad. Maybe having a wife and children is what will make me truly happy.

2. The most romantic sexual fantasy I've ever imagined up until now is with my first year college General Psychology professor. His initials? M V.

3. I have gerascophobia more commonly known as fear of growing old.

4. I adore Kris Aquino! I wanna talk like her, be like her, think like her. I wish I'm Kris Aquino in my next life.

5. It's my dream to have my own talk show someday. I love to talk, talk, and talk. I feel like there are so many things I want to share. I really want to host and interview people.

6. I love being inside a bookstore, particularly, Bestsellers, Fullybooked, and Powerbooks. National kasi is so ingay and so gulo, i feel like there's always a fiesta. Whenever I'm inside a bookstore, I feel so calm and peaceful. I love being with books.

7. I'm in cloud nine everytime I buy a new book. I just love love love books! Of course, I also horde books. Hello? Even Kris Aquino still has plenty of books wrapped in their original plastics. What's important is I find time to read them one by one. To date, I still have 40 unopened books, still wrapped in their original plastics.

8. After reading all my K! The Kris Aquino Magazines, I put them back in their original plastics and store them in a place no one can make pakialam and make them sira.

9. Call me selfish but I don't like lending my books, CDs, DVDs, and magazines. Having them all in my room gives me peace of mind. It forms part of my self-security knowing that I have a copy of this issue or this book at home. It gives me joy to know that no matter what happens, I already secured a copy.

10. I have an obsession with jeans. I don't know what it is about them but they make me really happy. To date, I think I already have a hundred or close to a hundred.

11. All my clothes are color-coded according to the color wheel. And they hang inside individual garment plastics.

12. I so love Chuck Taylors for life!

13. I hate it when people accidentally or intentionally steps on my shoes. I feel like, "How dare you? This shoe is more expensive than you are!"

14. I can eat KFC Fried Chicken and their gravy for a month and still crave for it.

15. I go crazy when something goes wrong in my computer.

16. I feel like crying everytime my internet connection is down. It makes me crazy.

17. I'm such an OC! I double check everything. I want everything to be in order. I want all my files organized. I always double check (often times more than double check pa) if I've locked the doors, have I passed the requirement? Have I clicked the submit button? Have I place it on the right place? This sometimes bugs me na.

18. I am a frustrated singer. I really wish God blessed me with a magnificent voice.

19. I super love YAEL YUZON's voice!

20. I hate having to borrow things. As much as possible, I want to have my own because I don't want to have an utang-na-loob.

21. I dream of having a healthy, long, serious relationship someday. One like Boy Abunda and Bong Quintana have.

22. I'm an expert when it comes to loving from a distance as well as unrequited love.

23. I want to have an affair with a married guy. Forbidden is HOT!

24. In my dreams, I wish to have the wildest sex of my life with Robin Padilla!

25. After all the pain and heartbreaks I've gone through, I still believe that love will come to me. I still believe that special someone who will give me the unconditional love I'm dying to have will one day cross my path and finally appease my distressed heart.

My first JOY list

JOY, as defined by my computer’s Encarta Dictionary is something that brings happiness: a pleasurable aspect of something, or something that is seen as a source of happiness.

Right now, I am very very busy and I have the most demanding schedule I’ll probably be having in my entire college life. There are times that I just really wanna cry to release all the pressure and stress that I’m going through. At times like this, I learned that it’s best to cling to the things that bring us happiness. For it is through these things that we could draw the strength to carry on. At this point in my life, I wanted to remind myself of all the things that brings joy to my heart and helps me relax after a hard day. Big or small, I believe that we should celebrate joy wherever, whenever, or to whoever we find it. I must agree with Kris Aquino that “focusing on what elicits joy rather than what causes sorrow really makes life so much more pleasant.”

Now, I want to share some of the things that make me happy at this point in time. Also, I want to encourage all my friends to have their own “Joy List” for it’s so much fun writing it. It will make you realize how mababaw a person you are and how blessed you are.

1. New issues of K Mag! It thrills me a lot the moment I hear that a new issue of K Mag will be out soon. And the moment I see one in a magazine stand makes my heart want to jump. I love Kris Aquino so much and it delights me to death that she has her own magazine now. No, I am not yet obsessed. It’s just that, Kris has always been my idol. Even before I became one of Regine Velasquez’s most avid, I’m a Kris Aquino fan first. If my memory serves me right, I became her fan when I was in grade 3 and since then, I have followed her career. Knowing that she has her own magazine now where she can share more of her thoughts is just so wonderful.

I got myself a copy of K Mag’s latest issue last Sunday (third day from its release). I make it a point to buy the magazine’s latest issue on the first day of its release but if I don’t have time that day, I always grab a copy as soon as I can.

2. Seeing the rain. Ironic as it may seem but I love it when it’s raining. I know studies show that rainy season causes a lot of people to get lonely making it the time when depression rate increases. But it puts a smile in my face. It feels so great that once in a while, we get a break from the really hot climate in this tropical country and experience a cold temperature. And come on?! Isn’t it great to wear and parade your jackets? Hehe. It also when it rains that I reminisce memories, both good and bad ones. And it just feels so great to go back and remember old times. Or maybe I’m just really weird…

3. Reading John Lapus’ blog. He is one of my favorite local celebrities ever. I admire his confidence and his ability to ignore his critics’ opinion. I love his “if you don’t like me, I don’t like you either” aura. Perhaps, life in this world will be more pleasurable if we will just ignore what other people are thinking about us. I read John’s blog every time he has a new entry. He updates his blog once a week. He writes it in taglish cause according to him, he’s not good in English. But mind you, he writes really well and you’ll see how a deep person he is. His blog is so refreshing! It really takes away my stresses. Haha!

4. Listening to “Pare Ko” and “Hotel California” before sleeping. Moralists won’t be happy upon reading this but I’m so sorry, they’re my lullaby. I love this two songs so much. I listen to “Pare Ko” when I am so stressed and I just wanna shout “putang ina” to all the people or things that causes my stress or my pains. I prefer Sponge Cola’s version of the song from the Ultramagnetic album. For one, I love Yael and his husky voice. And I’m so thankful that the band’s version retained the foul words unlike the other versions of the song which tamed it down a little bit. On the other hand, I listen to “Hotel California” when I want to feel relaxed, when I want to just float in the clouds and rest. The song is so hypnotizing for me.

5. Seeing my potato chips! Yes, I love potato chips and I don’t care if they’re junk. I buy my own potato chips cause my mom won’t buy me. I know that they’re bad for my kidneys but what can I do? I love salty foods and potato chips are delicious. Come on, give me a break! I don’t eat chocolates because I’m allergic to it so potato chips nalang. My chichiryas are all in my bedroom, beside the entertainment cabinet. It gives me joy to see them there when I get home from a very stressful school day.

6. Buying new books. Next to my computer, books are my best friend. I love bookstores so much! My trip to malls won’t be complete without a visit to Powerbooks or National Bookstore. Now, I have a new home when I’m waiting for my mom and my sister to finish their long hours of mall strolling, Bestsellers at Robinsons Galleria. That bookstore is so serene and all the books are arranged properly. Not to mention, they’ve got a really big area so almost all the books available here in the country are all there. The likelihood of unavailability is very thin. Not of course if the book is out of stock everywhere. Anyway, it’s not a secret to everyone that I love reading and I worship books. At times when I feel so sad and tired, I buy a book and it totally elates my heart. The last book I bought was Mitch Albom’s newest paperback, “For One More Day”. My mom paid for it and told me it’s her advance birthday gift to me. Right now, I’m saving for the coming bookstore sale this August and September. The titles I’m going to buy are: “The Devil and Miss Prym”, “Like Flowing River”, “The Witch of Portobello” all by my favorite, Paolo Coelho. Other titles I’m saving for are: “The Book of Laughter and Forgetting” by Milan Kundera, “The Death of an Ordinary Man” by Glen Duncan, “Written on the Body” by Jeanette Winterson, and “The Baker’s Apprentice” by Judith Ryan Hendricks.

BTW, my birthday is coming so some of you might want to give me one of those books as your birthday gift. Just tell me you’re giving me that title so I won’t buy it na. Hehe!

7. Enjoying a Bubble Tea. We (meaning my mom, my sister and I) are so addicted to these teas that came all the way from Japan. The Bubble Tea is a Japanese franchised restaurant that recently opened at SM Megamall. They’re menu are mostly beverages (hot and cold) but they also offer some sandwiches, pasta and rice bowls. With the name itself, you would know that the restaurant’s specialty is in teas. They’re teas come in varieties of milk teas, milk shakes, ice tea based, fresh brewed black teas, tea slush, and hot teas. What make these teas extra scrumptious are the bubbles or black sagos (similar to the sagos they put in the Zagu Pearl Shakes before) that they put on it. They’re all great but I must say that my top favorites are the Coffee Milk Shake, Taro Milk Tea, and nothing will beat the Black Sesame Milkshake for me. We enjoy these bubble teas every Sunday after attending our church’s service. What a perfect way of completing our weekends. (As of now, they only have two branches, the one at Megamall and the one at The Block)

8. Catching Oprah on TV! These days, I don’t get the chance to watch The Oprah Winfrey show as often as I want to because of my very inconsiderate class schedules. I hope Star World will be more considerate for people like me. Why not a primetime replays at 11 or 12am or perhaps a weekend marathon during midnights if they can’t accommodate it during primetime? I love talk shows so much. Today, I’m so glad to wake up with The Ellen DeGeneres show at ETC 2^nd Avenue with Christina Aguilera as her guest. It really relaxes me every time I watch talk shows and it is my dream to have my own in the future. I really feel that I was born to talk and interview people. Other talk shows that I watch are Private Conversations with Boy Abunda, Boy and Kris, Korina Today, Larry King Live, Tonight with Jay Leno, The May Lee Show, etc.

9. Coming to school early for my first class. It rarely happens so I’m glad if I’m able to wake up early, there’s no line in the fx terminal, and the mrt and lrt are not prima donnas that day.

10. Seeing Kris Aquino back on TV. It feels so great that she’s back on TV after her three months of maternity leave. I just admire this girl so much that even though I don’t like Deal or No Deal, I watch it because of her. For me, Kris is the host to beat! I want to be like Kris, I want to talk like her, dress like her, and be as influential as she is. I have high respects for this lady because of her unbelievable talent (in hosting), her intelligence, and being the controversial A-list celebrity that she is. I’m also very excited about her new show in ABS-CBN that will start running on August entitled “Weekends with Kris” every Saturday at 5pm.

11. Daily Lunch with Korina. We’ve been doing this for 2 years now and it feels so great to talk and share anything, everything under the sun with your best friend while having a sumptuous lunch at are favorite canteens/restaurants.

12. Being able to watch 2-3 episodes of Desperate Housewives. I am currently watching the series’ season 3 and it’s so much more addicting than the past two seasons. I missed Wisteria Lane so much and I’m just so glad that I have the complete third season DVD already. After Desperate Housewives, I’ll be watching Grey’s Anatomy Season 3, Ugly Betty, then go back to Sex and The City. I’m also gonna watch Brothers and Sisters, Dirt, and Heroes soon.

13. Burning my downloaded songs and videos on CD. It delights me the most when my burner does not hang up when I’m burning those.

14. Sleeping early during Fridays and Saturdays. Ever since this term started and I had to deal with this class schedule, my Friday and Saturday nights are spent sleeping. It’s an advantage for me cause I get to sleep early. I’m really not a morning person so it feels great that during weekend mornings, I get to feel how it is to eat a “matinong” breakfast and accomplish things early in the morning.

15. John Paul Abellera read my review. He’s the scriptwriter of “Paano Kita Iibigin”, the latest movie of Regine Velasquez and Piolo Pascual. It made me very very happy when he was able to read my review of the movie in my livejournal. He also left a thank you comment that flattered me big time. It’s the scriptwriter himself! I’m so glad!!!

Dave...these past few weeks...

The past two weeks after Valentine's Day were two of the busiest weeks of my life. I don't know how I was able to manage but I did. For two weeks, I never had at least five hours of sleep. I recharge for only one and a half to two hours daily because of reading assignments, midterm exams, reaction papers and other school works. We are now in our 9th week. Five more weeks and the term will be over. I can't wait for that day!

Anyway, there are a lot of things I wanted to share in the past few weeks but I don't have the luxury of time to do so because of my very lovable and very considerate schedule. I felt that I needed to share this things already before I even forget them.

I made a promise to myself this New Year that I will try my best to watch the movies I want in cinemas during their theatrical showing. With all fainess to me, I am really making extra efforts to keep up to that promise. As of now, I haven't missed any movie that I want to watch. I have seen "The Holiday", "Music and Lyrics" and "You Got Me". Two weeks from now, I'm going to watch "Dreamgirls" naman..

other things in my life right now:

- Aside from Grey's Anatomy, I am also addicted to Gonut Donut's Yummy Vanilla and Oishi's Potato Crisps.

- I have realized that I want to read J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series again. I stopped in book 2 (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets) kasi in 2004. I don't know I got bored eh.. But this afternoon, I went to the movie house to watch "You Got Me" and before the movie, they showed the trailer of the new Harry Potter movie and once again it awakened my senses to continue reading the series. Since my passion to finish it was stirred, I'm going to read it na uli... FYI: I haven't seen any of the four Harry Potter movies because I was always telling myself that I want to finish reading the book versions first before watching.

- I want to buy a book! I just don't know what book I want. I have three choices right now, "Goddess: Inside Madonna" by Barbara Victor, "Memories of My Melancholy Whores" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez or "Orosa-Nakpil Malate" by:Louie Mar A. Gangcuangco (it's really good daw..) Ahhh!! I'm so confused!

- I feel so bad that the new issue of the Kris Aquino Magazine is still on hold because of what's happening to Kris right now. I am honestly disgusting James Yap na... I wish Kris didn't marry him nalang... Honestly, I really think that Kris doesn't love James the way she loved Joey Marquez! basta i HOPE maging ok na si kris. ay! mali! ayaw pala niya yang word na yan... hahahaha!!! can I just say na ang pangit ni hope ha... yucky siya ha...

- ok! fine! i'll admit it na talaga... I am still madly in love with GAVIN! with all my heart and soul... he's still the one talaga!!!

Finally, I gotta go na... it's 3am.. I still have a thick handout that I have to finish reading by tomorrow for my oral exam in philosophy of religion on Monday and I gotta decide what book I'm gonna buy.

till next time!

Early Christmas Treats!

Yesterday was an early Christmas treat for me. I was able to get a copy of K Mag’s fourth issue. Actually, I wasn’t expecting for it because last November ABS-CBN Publications said that the next issue of K Mag will be out January 2007. I was surprised when I checked Kris’ YG last Saturday that it was already out. It’s not a secret that I really delight on reading Kris’ Magazine. For whatever reason, I feel so relaxed when reading it and not to forget that I am learning a lot from it because it’s not about “kalandian” and “kaaretehan” lang! K Mag's a wonderful magazine. It's very informative and it perfectly satisfies the curiosity not only of Kris’ avid fans but also the interests of teenagers, young adults, career women, single mothers, and of course members of the third sex who look up to Kris as their icon. As a matter of fact, it’s the number 1 magazine in the Philippines ever since its maiden issue, dethroning Cosmopolitan Magazine. I’m going to read it na before going to bed this morning (I’m an insomiac!)

I got a gift today from one of my godmother. I can’t remember when was the last time I saw her because she and her husband migrated to Canada when I was still a little kid. I’m so touched because she sent me a NIKE rubber shoe and again, it’s not a secret that I love shoes! As in super-duper love!!! Hello??? I invest a lot on my shoes noh because I really don’t buy fake ones especially rubber shoes and sneakers! I can starve myself just so I can save money to buy shoes!!! Anyway, the rubber shoe was so cool! She said she bought it in Florida. =) Love it!!!!

On Wednesday, I’m going to buy another one after my STAT101 final exam. This time…sneakers!

I still don’t know what color but definitely not black!!! I’ll probably buy a new “sporty” jacket too! These two are my Christmas gifts to myself!!! Can’t wait for Wednesday na tuloy!!! Hay!

P.S. I’m so excited about next term!!! As in I bought new stuffs kanina sa bookstore… =)