I've got just 2 days to live...

That was the doctor's diagnosis. He said there's some kind of over production in my hormone levels and that he can't believe I'm still alive. I was steady as stone for a while, devastated and couldn't possibly imagine how on earth can I squeeze in 48 hours all the things that I still wanna do. This was the scenario in my dream last night. It was so real that I'm even surprised that I'm still alive when I woke up.

Like I always do everyday, I hit the the shower right after I got out of bed and today while taking a bath I got into thinking, what if my dream was real and it'll really happen? Will the ending of my life be as emotional as it was in my dream? Is that how I want my life to end?

And so I asked myself while dressing up, if God will tell me when exactly he's gonna ask for my life, what are the things that I'm gonna do?

If I just have 48 hours to live here on earth, what are the things I'm gonna do? Who are the people I'm going to talk to in the last few hours of my life? Who'll be the first one I'm gonna say goodbye to and who'll be the last? Will I spend the time left for me in mourning or will I spend it doing the things I've always wanted to do but felt too afraid to try? Am I going to countdown till my last breath still restaurant hopping and eating all the foods I will no longer taste after I die or will I fuck around and have sex for all I want since I'll be dying in a few hours why give a damn about it right? Do I want to die with people around me seeing how I run after my last breath or would I prefer to just be mum about the fact that I'm going to die and spend my last few minutes inside my bedroom alone?

These questions can go on and on and on but there's one universal truth amidst all this and it's the fact that we're all going to die but the question is when...

I am now reading Paulo Coelho's, "The Zahir" and one of my favorite quote in the book is the one where he talked about death. Here it is, "...we're always at war. We're at war with death, and we know that death will win in the end. In armed conflicts, this is simply more obvious, but the same thing happens in daily life. We can't allow ourselves the luxury of being unhappy all the time." These past few days, I have been thinking a lot about things and I won't deny that most of them depresses me. But after having dreamt of this scenario last night, I asked myself if this is how I would want to spend my life, worrying about this and that when I have a lot to be thankful for with my now. I realized that worrying a lot deprives us of living our everyday to the fullest. Worrying makes us limit our happiness which in turn makes us waste a lot of our life's precious and limited time on earth.

I think I have waste a lot already in my lifetime and as my life's clock continues to tick and tock to the "big day", I wanna spend my life more without regrets. I wanna be able to face God someday with a smile on my face knowing that I was able to do what I wanna do in the lifetime he gave me. I wanna be able to tell him that I was content and happy with how I lived my life. And I know that the only way to achieve this and start living your best life is through a mantra Kris Aquino shared a few days ago in her fantxt, Past is out, Present is in, Future is clear. To be able to live our lives to the fullest we should really put our PAST behind us, we must live, be the best that we can be and make the most out of our PRESENT and leave our FUTURE to the all mighty for it is still waiting to be done. Its outcome, however, depends on how we live today.

Dream Girls

3/5 stars

Aside from the fantastic music, fabulous costumes and excellent cinematography, there's nothing superb with this movie.
I was a bit disappointed because I expected a lot from the movie but as it turned out, there's nothing new about it. Weeks before watching the film, I didn't read a single review about it so that I will still be surprise when I finally get the chance to watch it. After seeing the film, I can say that a lot of the scenes were predictable. It's like I am not excited to see the next scene because I know what's going to happen next.
I also disagree with all the people who loved Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "Am Telling You I'm Not Going". Now I know why she was voted out of American Idol. Her voice is so thick and for me, the song doesn't fit well with her voice. There were parts in her rendition that her voice is garalgal. The ad lib she did was horrible, her falsettos were even more terrible and her belting was awful. Sure! her acting was good but not her singing. For some people, her rendition of the song may have caused them to have goose bumps but not me. I honestly didn't like it. Without any biases, Regine Velasquez's live performance of the song is still far better.
A lot of the people who have seen the film also told me that Jennifer really overshadowed Beyonce in both acting and singing. I am not a Beyonce fan but with all fairness to her, she acted really well. It just so happen that Jennifer's character caused the conflict in the film so of course her character will have more drama, dialogues and will demand for stronger emotions.
After criticizing Jennifer Hudson's overrated rendition of "Am Telling You I'm Not Going" and saying that there is nothing new and superb with the movie, I still don't regret having watched it.
The movie is still worth watching. It's still worth your 130 bucks. The production design is really excellent. I particularly love the way the director interconnected several shots to maximize the use of time in the film. If you love musicals, I highly recommend this film. And finally, though there was nothing new with the film and undeniably there were a lot of cliches, I can say that the story line was fully developed and I can't deny the fact that there's still beauty in predictability.

P.S. Though I didn't like her voice, I do believe that Jennifer Hudson is a great actress and she deserves the Golden Globe and Oscar she has won.